Finding things hard

Ok so I want to make sure I am always real with all my readers so I always want to write from the heart and document our lives..... So here goes nothing,since January things have been a little up and down and I've not really been feeling myself at all I just can't seem to shake it.

To be honest I think it’s a number of things that have built up over time….With my mum and stepdad are away, hubbys nan has been in hospital and my own nan hasn’t been feeling great. Plus this month is not only my grandads first birthday without him it’s also 12months since we lost him which hurts like hell. Both babies have been poorly in the last few weeks with chicken pox and I hate seeing my babies poorly, Georgie really hasn’t coped well with it either they were just everywhere but thankfully both girls are getting better now and with Easter fast approaching we have a few things planned. Starting with my mum and stepdads return which I can not lie it fills me with joy. We have missed them so much the girls just love their Nannie and grandad so much…….they are very excited for them to be home.

Next weekend marks 12 months since losing our wonderful grandad and I must admit I am filled with so much heartache and anxiety over it, so much so anxiety is seriously kicking my arse at the moment and I know in my heart I’ve really not been a great person to be around which really hurts because I hate it. I want to be happy smiley mummy for my babies and I feel like I am a rubbish wife at the minute. I really need to pick myself up and dust myself so I can start over and get my mojo back again. Hopefully the weather will also improve soon which always lifts my mood and pulls me out of the funk….. really want to try some new things like some exercise classes to help shift my weight which always makes me feel better about myself.

Anyway enough negative vibes, I have been watch some instagram lives with the lovely @hollymatthews84 and I need to cut the crap and stop making excuses……So I intend to pick myself up,dust myself off and begin doing things again without fear no matter what they may be or whether they make me feel anxious. So > I will start writing my to do lists again > I will read more positive blogs/books etc. > I will be more positive. > I will blog more to get where I want to > I will use positive affirmations. > I will start to love myself. There are so many more but I could be here forever if I keep going, so many things I want to do including getting my exercising mojo back so I feel better about the way I look and I can be a better mama to my babies. I also intend to rebook my theory test as soon as possible and smash it second time round.💪🏻👊🏻

Well I have rambled on quite enough and I’m not even sure it all makes sense but please do give it a read,a like or even a comment. I’d love to hear from you and let me know what else you’d like to see on my blog in the future.

Find me on Facebook- mamatomoominandbear Twitter-@MamatoM_B Instagram- @mamatomoominandbear

Thank you for reading, until next time

Kayleigh x